Main Summary: God Is a Match Maker by Derek Prince is a book that depicts the nitty-gritty of marriage. Its origin and originator; its limits and boundaries; the characteristics of both partners involved; how to prepare for the best by both parties involved; and the importance of a relationship with God before marriage. The author also wrote on fixing issues with divorce and celibacy.
Lessons I learned from this book
- The author of marriage
- Gateway for a blissful marriage
- Four areas to cultivate a good attitude
- Guidelines to choosing a partner
- The preparation of the man
- The preparation of the woman
God is a perfect matchmaker. Irrespective of the stories you may have heard, dramas you have watched, or the experiences you may have had.
The Bible recommends a simple solution in these matters. Which is to follow after them who through faith and patience, have achieved this desire you have for a blissful marriage. God has done it for countless many and will do the same for you. Only if you would care to know how others were perfectly matched in Christ.
The Author of Marriage
First of all, marriage is not a man’s plan. Adam never knew he needed a wife. The anxiety and worries we put ourselves through today aren’t necessary if we understand this. Marriage is God’s plan—His institution.
God decided that man needed a helper. He went ahead to create the specific kind of helper that man needed. He also went out of his way to bring this helper to man and ordained their limits and boundaries.
So the Genesis and Revelation of marriage is God. This should give you rest at least, to understand that God is more concerned about your Marital destiny than you are.
Gateway For A Blissful Marriage
God desires that you get married. How then do you subscribe to His plans for you, and not miss them? This is where most people end up missing it.
There is a gateway. No one can force you through it. You must choose to go through it willingly.
This gateway is “Total Submission Under God’s Authority.” As found in Romans 12:1,2.
So many people want to rule and run their own lives; at the same time proclaim Jesus as their Lord. Well friend you can’t do both.
You must offer your body a living sacrifice to God on his altar. Which makes you subjected to his terms for your life.
This is the only way to attain and attract God’s best. As he gives his best to those who leave the choice to him.
“God gives His best to those who leave the choice to Him.”
Four Areas To Cultivate Attitude
Preparing for marriage doesn’t begin at the marriage ceremony. This book highlights four characters you should cultivate. Which is a part of the marriage preparation.
i. Character towards marriage itself.
Summarized into reverence and humility, they are necessary to achieve God’s plan in marriage which is unity.
ii. Character towards yourself
Summarized into loving yourself in Christ. You should have self-esteem according to God’s will for you and not more. With this, you can appreciate and treat others as you would love to be treated.
iii. Character towards other people
Summarized into appreciation and thankfulness. Appreciation is the inward reaction, and thankfulness is the outward expression. Together they act as a lubricant that can keep two people flowing together in harmony with one another.
iv. Character towards parents
Summarized into the virtue of honor. It is possible to honor your parents without agreeing with them on all points or endorsing everything they do. You may disagree strongly with them in some matters, yet maintain a respectful attitude toward them.
If you want the Lord to give you the kind of mate you need, You must diligently cultivate the Lord’s favor—His satisfaction must be your highest ambition.
Guidelines To Choosing A Partner
i. The word of God must be most esteemed as the standard for your life.
ii. The light of God’s word must be what you live by.
iii. Being led by the Holy Spirit should be cherished as your source of direction.
iv. You are responsible for guarding your heart against the notions and opinions of the world.
v. You should learn patience, in waiting for God’s choice in choosing a partner.
vi. Your ability to wait and accept God’s choice is dependent on the level to which you are dead to self–totally submitted to God.
vii. You must revere the place of your Pastor or those who are more experienced in this area for counsel and guidance.
viii. You must realize that only God can give an understanding wife. So you must entreat his favor by making his satisfaction your utmost desire.
Also Read: How To Get Started: The Holy Spirit & You
The Preparation Of The Man
• The man is made head not by right but by grace, and so his success in this role is dependent on his relationship with Christ—who bestowed this grace.
• You must as a man depend on him as the source of your words, actions, wisdom, and strength.
• You must learn and Practice to be tender. Tenderness and romance go hand in hand. It is a quality that can be impacted on other activities, that make them more exciting and enjoyable. E.g eating meals together or complimenting others for service.
• You must learn to serve others before marriage. Christ’s love is self-giving. You can give yourself to help others now before marriage.
• You must be knowledgeable on the word, to be able to teach your family. Especially on the basic doctrine of the Christian faith.
• it’s important you Learning to represent Jesus to your family as a teacher and your family to Jesus as a priest. Blessing them always with the blessings of God. Learn to pray with others as well, prayer should be a part of your life as meals are.
• As the head, you must be open to communication from every member of the family. Whether it’s a need, pressure, creative or constructive ideas. You must assimilate all this information and decide on the appropriate action on what’s best for the family.
Having decided for the family, it is your responsibility to initiate actions—that is to lead. Your ability to lead is anchored on your faithfulness and responsibility quotient.
Also Read: How To Live A Purpose Driven Life
The Preparation Of The Woman
A woman’s nature finds full expression and fulfillment in Helping.
Here are the characteristics of a helper a woman needs:
General: wise, kind, faithful, loyal, sober, honorable, courageous, and generous.
Home: industrious, prudent, strong, caring, capable, and dutiful.
Feminine: modest, pure, of a meek and quiet spirit, priceless, and trusting.
Spiritual: prayerful, prophetic, ministering, devout, and God-fearing.
• She must prepare to be a helper. Until you are married, you may not know exactly the kind of helper to need to be. Your husband’s vocation and temperament will determine that. You must esteem your role to help first before your career or call.
• Cultivating your relationship with the Lord now before marriage is a great determinant of how fast you move in God’s will. From the good, acceptable and perfect will.
• Cultivate commitment and loyalty. You must have given yourself wholeheartedly to God and then to some person or cause
• Cultivate your self-esteem. You are valuable to God, you must know this. Without self-esteem, in God, many have fallen prey in marriage to the wrong reasons to men they should never be involved with.
• Be willing to learn. Whether you are well educated or no, you must give yourself as a lady the opportunity to learn practical skills that would be useful in your home. Let the Holy Spirit guide and lead you to the area or skill you need to have.
• Be willing to serve. Your Love is best expressed to your husband, by serving him. How you serve your husband will depend on his personality and career. It will require that you are patient to study him and learn to anticipate his need before he asks.
• Be willing and open to adjusting to your husband’s priorities. The woman must be flexible, ready to adapt to her husband’s desires because he is the head. He is responsible for setting the pattern. Pleasing your husband will bring you many more blessings and favors than pleasing yourself.
• Learn to pray & Intercede for others. As you keep your daily schedule of prayer, ask God to show you what is on his heart, that you can pray about. Make a list of issues he brings to your notice in the lives of others to continually pray about. Your husband’s success will depend greatly on your ability to intercede.
• Learn proper care of your body. Give diligent attention to nutrition and exercise for you and your family. This will go a long way to keep you healthy enough to meet the demand of God’s call over your life and family. Feeding the family and developing good food habits is the wife’s responsibility. The more you can learn before marriage the more recipes you would have perfected to feed your family healthy and strong.
• Observe other women’s behavior in exemplary marriages. Look around at the married women you know. Ask the Holy Ghost to show you the qualities to emulate or avoid. Among all, you especially need a meek and quiet spirit as an attitude.
• Trust God. Be will and patient enough to wait. God loves you dearly and will meet your needs provided you meet his conditions.
• Set your goals. Establish your priorities in the areas you may be falling short in the characteristics of a helper. Then set goals to work on with time to become better. Ask the Lord to help you find the ones appropriate for you and your future. Take your goals one after the other and program an action plan on how you must achieve them. Remember we are responsible to God for how we spend our time.
In conclusion, God is a matchmaker and the author of marriage. However for you to subscribe to his match-making your marriage, you must totally submit to his will; build your attitude to God’s standard, and prepare for the glorious marriage that you desire. My prayer is, you wouldn’t miss it.
Finally, here’s my question for you.
Are the instructions and admonitions from this book review worth reading, and practicing for the kind of marriage you want? If yes, can you highlight a few of them you intend to work on?
I will love to hear from you, please leave your answer and comments in the comment box below.
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