Kingdom Parenting by Myles Munroe and David Burrows [Summary]

Main Summary: Kingdom Parenting by Myles Munroe and David Burrows is a biblical guide for raising godly children. It covers foundational parenting goals, training and discipline, understanding teens and parents, building relationships, and practical wisdom for creating a better tomorrow for families.

Lessons You’ll Learn From This Book

• Three Foundational Goals of Parenting.
• Train Up a Child.
• Principles of Training Children.
• Spare Not the Rod.
• In Wisdom, Stature, and Favor.
• A Better Tomorrow.
• The Original Plan.
• Understanding Teens.
• Understanding Parents.
• A Changing World, a Changing Family.
• Relating to Teens.
• Relating to Parents.
• Practical Wisdom Tips for Parents.
• The Word on Parents and Teens.

We cannot pass on to our children what we do not possess ourselves.

Three Foundational Goals of Parenting

● Effective parenting begins with God, the Author of life and Founder of marriage and family.
● God’s original mandate to humanity was to be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth.
● God created male and female in His image and likeness to reproduce after their own kind.
● The first goal of parenting is to reproduce the nature of the parent in the child.
● The second goal of parenting is to reproduce the character of the parent in the child.
● The third goal of parenting is to reproduce the behavior of the parent in the child.
● The words “image” and “likeness” refer to both external appearance and internal qualities.
● Jesus perfectly reflected His Father and told His disciples that seeing Him was seeing the Father.
● Jesus did nothing on His own but only what He saw His Father doing.
● One of Jesus’ most common phrases was “Fear not” because God the Father fears nothing.
● God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind.
● Perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment.
● Parents cannot pass on to their children what they do not possess themselves.
● Children learn best through observation and imitation, not just words.
● The adage “Do as I say, not as I do” is a recipe for parental failure.
● Parents must imitate God by living a life of love just as Christ loved us.
● Effective parenting must be intentional, planned, focused, and have an expected end in mind.
● Parents can only parent the way they themselves were parented unless they break negative patterns.
● The reality of sinful human nature affects both parents and children.
● Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child and requires the rod of correction.
● Parenting is a powerful and inescapable influence, whether negative or positive.
● Everyone is parented by somebody, and a parent is the one with the most formative influence.
● Either you parent your children or someone else will.
● Conscientious parents must guard their children from negative formative influences.
● Marriage is the context God established for bringing children into the world.
● God designed children to have both a mother and a father who are married to each other.
● God seeks godly offspring through the covenant of marriage.
● The primary purpose of parenting is to produce righteous and godly children for God.
● “Righteous” means right positioning or being in right relationship with God.
● “Godly” means god-like, reflecting God’s nature, character, and behavior.
● Parents must allow God to Father them so they can model godly character for their children.
● The proof of good parenting is seen in how children behave when parents are absent.
● Training a child in the way he should go ensures he will not turn from it when old.

Godly children don’t happen by accident; they are the product of committed, godly parents’ efforts.

Train Up a Child

● Training is the answer to raising righteous and godly children.
● Godly children do not turn out by accident but are the product of committed, godly parents.
● Parents must train their children deliberately, purposefully, and with planning.
● The Bible is the source material for wise counsel on raising godly children.
● Proverbs 22:6 is the “Parents’ Mandate” to train a child in the way he should go.
● Parents must know the way themselves before they can show the way to their children.
● Learning the way of righteousness is a lifelong process for parents too.
● The greatest legacy parents can pass on is training children in the way of the Lord.
● Parenting is intentional and must begin immediately upon the birth of each child.
● Children learn everything they need to learn in their first seven years of life.
● If you do not train your children by age seven, you probably never will.
● Humans are spiritual beings, and our ageless spirits can receive training that lasts.
● Modeling the right way to live is critical to children’s health, welfare, and success.
● Children are unable to raise themselves and should never be expected to.
● God designed children for play, which is how they learn and grow creatively.
● Children are not merely pint-sized adults and should not be treated as such.
● Children need patient guidance, careful instruction, consistent discipline, and clear boundaries.
● Children should not be expected to serve their parents, but parents for their children.
● Our responsibility is to raise righteous offspring, not to train good workers for ourselves.
● The behavior of children reflects on their parents and reveals the quality of parenting they received.
● Ephesians 6:4 says fathers should not provoke their children to wrath.
● Double standards, unrealistic threats, and inconsistent discipline exasperate children.
● Showing favoritism toward one child breeds resentment in the others.
● Parents must love all children equally and never show favoritism.
● Know the way, show the way, and be consistent so as not to provoke children to rebellion.

Discipline is an act of love that is designed to redirect a child’s thoughts, attitude, and behavior back onto the right path.

Principles of Training Children

● The quality of our parenting today affects our children, grandchildren, and future generations.
● Our success or failure as parents has long-term, multigenerational consequences.
● Children are not born self-sufficient and must be trained to live successfully.
● God gave parents the responsibility to train children and holds them accountable.
● Training must be intentional, deliberate, and planned because it will not happen by accident.
● Parents must aim to lay a firm foundation for the future, not just seek immediate obedience.
● Training benefits both parent and child, preparing children for life and blessing parents.
● Children who honor and obey their parents receive the promise of long life.
● Obedience helps children develop discipline and learn delayed gratification.
● Obedience teaches children submission to legitimate authority, which helps them submit to God.
● Obedience teaches children respect for authority, which is vital for a secure society.
● Parents cannot train their children until they first establish control over them.
● Blended families, single parents, and divorced parents face unique control challenges.
● Parents must tailor control and training to the age and development of the child.
● Parents must be consistent and never relax their standards or expectations.
● Parents must agree with each other and maintain a united front before the children.
● Parents should not try to be their children’s “buddy” but should be their parent.
● Training often involves coercion because children naturally resist restraints on their freedom.
● Training must be repeated numerous times until the child internalizes the lesson.
● The “rod of correction” includes but is not limited to corporal punishment.
● Children are not born holy and must be taught to obey, honor, and love God.
● Any kind of abuse of children is absolutely wrong and a sin before God.
● Coercive training methods are for correcting children in love, not beating them into submission.
● Coercive measures should be applied carefully, appropriately, and sparingly.
● It is never appropriate to strike a child in the face or any other vulnerable body part.
● The buttocks are the only suitable place on the body for applying physical discipline.
● Parents should never use their hands but an external instrument like a belt or paddle.
● Children should associate their parents’ hands with love, never with pain and punishment.
● Discipline is an act of love designed to redirect a child’s behavior back onto the right path.
● Discipline helps prepare children for the future and is linked to hope.
● Lack of discipline is linked to death and can destroy a child’s future.
● Parents discipline children today so they will learn to discipline themselves tomorrow.
● Discipline must never be administered in anger because that results in abuse, not correction.
● Parents should not allow children to despise discipline, rebel, or complain about it.
● Parents must not allow children to become bitter, slothful, or embarrassed in public.
● Parents should never ask children to do anything they would not do themselves.
● Parents should never ridicule, belittle, scorn, or embarrass their children, especially in public.

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

Spare Not the Rod

● Discipline is an act of love but should not be constant.
● Discipline should be applied only when necessary and promptly.
● Constant criticism produces insecure children who try to earn love through performance.
● Parents should relax, lighten up, and have fun with their kids.
● Parents should create positive memories with their children.
● Children are starved for affection and need to hear “I love you” and “I’m proud of you.”
● Ignored children may act out just to receive any attention, even negative attention.
● Don’t hound children over every little detail or minor mistake.
● Making mistakes is part of the learning process.
● Children need patience and gentle correction, not ridicule.
● Never use your hand to punish a child; your hand is not a rod.
● Hands are for hugging, touching, and caressing, not inflicting physical blows.
● God’s hands are tender, loving, and caring, and parents should model that.
● The purpose of the rod is not to hurt but to correct and redirect behavior.
● Focus on the training the punishment is intended to reinforce, not the punishment itself.
● Explain to children why they are being punished so they understand the reason.
● Spanking is done for a child, not to a child.
● Always discipline with the desired training objective in mind.
● Don’t be afraid to let children cry during correction.
● A spanking every now and then won’t kill them, and the Bible confirms this.
● Children are glad to get spanked because it proves their parents love them.
● Discipline produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those trained by it.
● The “pop” psychology that argues against all physical punishment did not come from God’s Word.
● Some parents go overboard and cross into abuse, but that is no excuse to distort Scripture.
● Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, wrote the biblical proverbs about the rod.
● Many troubled adults are products of parents who spared the rod in favor of “counseling.”
● Children not taught boundaries will establish no boundaries of their own as adults.
● Don’t be afraid to administer the rod when needed.
● A little pain judiciously applied now will spare children a world of pain later.
● Crying during punishment expresses submission, which is what the parent is after.
● Submission means teaching a child to willingly bring their will under control.
● Childhood is the time for teaching submission, and for forcing it when necessary.
● Many prison inmates are sharp-looking men who were not properly parented as children.
● Your children will either be parented by you now or by someone else later.
● Spanking ministers to the whole person: body, soul, and spirit.
● The objective of corporal punishment is to get the corrective lesson into the child’s spirit.
● The rod helps children change their minds from wrong to right.
● The rod drives out foolishness, which is bound up in the heart of a child.
● Explanations and discussions alone will not drive foolishness away; the rod will.
● Children must be cultivated with care and attention, or they will grow wild.
● Discipline is an indispensable part of the cultivation process.
● Spare not the rod if you want to bring up happy, confident, well-adjusted children of godly character.

Since your kids will very likely turn out to be just like you, make sure you live like the kind of person you want them to be.

In Wisdom, Stature, and Favor

● God chose parenting as His plan for populating the earth and training children.
● God the Father sent Jesus as a child entrusted to human parents, Mary and Joseph.
● Jesus needed loving parents to grow into the man He was supposed to be.
● Mary and Joseph are the best model of effective parenting in the Bible.
● Mary and Joseph were faithful, regular, and consistent in worshiping God.
● They taught Jesus to be faithful and consistent in worship too.
● At age 12, Jesus amazed the temple scholars with His understanding and answers.
● Jesus listened and asked questions, showing respect for His elders.
● Jesus willingly submitted to Mary and Joseph’s authority.
● Jesus grew in four areas: wisdom, stature, favor with God, and favor with man.
● Wisdom is God’s priority and should be the parents’ priority.
● Wisdom is the application of God’s Word to daily life.
● Parents should begin reading Scripture and playing worship music even before birth.
● Unborn children can hear and respond to aural stimuli.
● The spirit of a child is ageless and can receive the living Word of God.
● A child’s life pattern is generally set by age four.
● Parents should bombard children with God’s Word, not just the world’s values.
● Waiting until high school is too late because the pattern is already set.
● The Psalms, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes contain everything needed for godly living.
● Reading Scripture daily sinks God’s Word into the subconscious and spirit.
● Parents should focus on imparting wisdom and the Word of God while children are young.
● Stature refers to physical development and also to discipline and self-control.
● Children do not exercise self-control by nature and must be taught.
● Parents must teach children to control their emotions, bodies, and appetites.
● Jesus was fully human and had to learn self-control just like any other child.
● Jesus experienced the same temptations and frustrations we do, yet without sin.
● Adults with wrecked lives never learned discipline because their parents never taught them.
● Wisdom and discipline must work together to bring children to full maturity.
● Parents must teach children to develop a personal relationship with God.
● Children learn best by observation, so parents must model faith, prayer, and Bible reading.
● Don’t expect children to value what they never see you value.
● Children can have a serious relationship with God from a very young age.
● Most people who do not turn to the Lord as children never do.
● Parents must teach children to live in favor with other people.
● This does not mean raising “people-pleasers” but teaching social graces and responsibility.
● It is the parent’s job, not daycare workers’ or schools’, to teach these principles.
● Jesus learned respect, compassion, and relationship-building at home.
● Children are watching their parents and will take their cues from them.
● Parents should live like the kind of person they want their children to become.
● There is no substitute for parental influence in the lives of children.
● Parents are best equipped to teach wisdom, self-control, relating to God, and living in society.
● These four qualities are the cornerstones for success in life.
● They fulfill the two greatest commandments: love God and love your neighbor.
● Children must learn these things at home before they can live them in society.
● Once children learn these things, they will be God’s kids for life.

Since there is no school for parenting, each parent must make it a point to gain the information they need for themselves.

A Better Tomorrow

● Parents must become the best possible parents and act on this goal as early as possible.
● Starting late leads to the “too-late syndrome” that pastors and counselors see constantly.
● Parents often bring teenagers to counselors only after years of problems have developed.
● It is sometimes too late for an immediate solution once a child is deeply involved in problematic behavior.
● Parents must get proper information about raising children on a proactive basis.
● Many parents have read no books, attended no seminars, or studied nothing about parenting.
● Parents need to seek understanding from the Bible to answer their questions.
● Parents must take time to invest in their family’s future, even when sacrifices are required.
● Driving a car requires studying manuals and passing a test, but parenting has no such requirements.
● Parenting is on-the-job training, so parents must seek information themselves.
● Parents need knowledge about the stages of life and development of children.
● Parents must know that you do not deal with a young child the same way you deal with a teen.
● Teenagers are rapidly changing, and advanced knowledge helps parents prepare for challenges.
● Parents must prepare for challenges before entering the “too-late zone.”
● A brighter tomorrow begins today with godly knowledge and information.
● Parents should read books, attend seminars, and join church parenting groups.
● The gap between parents and children is bridged with information and understanding.
● Teens should also read about adolescence before they get there.
● Teens can learn from the successes and mistakes of others.
● Biblical commands like “Honor your father and mother” preserve life and add peace to our days.

If the man is together, the family will come together; if the family becomes a tighter unit, the community will come together.

The Original Plan

● Children are a heritage and reward from the Lord.
● If you want the best, you have to go back to the original design.
● The family was designed to be the primary institution and cornerstone of society.
● What we have today is often a confused concept of family life, not the original.
● Children and teens are victims of the confusion, not the creators of it.
● Parents must work with the situation as it is while promoting God’s ideal family.
● God is the ultimate authority, and the human father is the head of the family.
● The mother is the father’s assistant, managing the home according to her unique design.
● Children are like workers who will one day become managers.
● Children are supposed to learn everything about life from their parents.
● Parents outrank their children, just as an army has a proper chain of command.
● God appointed parents to be the “generals” in a family.
● Parents are not always right, but they occupy the top position in the family.
● God always works through proper authority, good organization, and order.
● Parents must renew their commitment to God’s plan no matter their situation.
● The world seeks to change the original to accommodate the current mess.
● If God is the Creator, His plan is the one we should follow.
● A boy solved a globe puzzle by putting the man together first.
● If the man is together, the family comes together, then the community, society, nation, and world.
● Children are commanded to obey their parents in the Lord.
● Children should obey except in severe circumstances like abuse or acting outside the law.
● Parents should not provoke their children lest they become discouraged.
● Parents are higher in rank, and the position of parent must be respected.
● Building better parent, teen, and family relationships all begins with understanding.

It is a challenging and awakening time for most parents when their children become teenagers.

Understanding Teens

● Children will become teens faster than parents can imagine.
● Parents should prepare now to avoid the “too-late” syndrome later.
● The teenage years are a challenging and awakening time for most parents.
● Children who were once obedient and attached suddenly change as teenagers.
● This phenomenon happens every generation and should be anticipated.
● Parents must understand teens by examining their characteristics, values, and behaviors.
● Teens desire their own identity and want to form their own ideas apart from parents.
● This natural process is called individuation.
● Puberty brings an acute awareness of sexuality and new questions.
● Handled properly, parents can help teens form healthy identities.
● Handled incorrectly, communication breaks down, and a defensive wall may last for years.
● When teens push for independence, parents should not take it personally.
● Teens develop their own language and culture that parents often do not understand.
● Slang, music, hairstyles, and fashion become statements of independence.
● Most teens think their parents are “un-cool” or “out of touch.”
● Teenagers are idealistic and believe they can change the world.
● Many creative inventions have come from younger minds.
● Teens are full of unbridled energy and always want to know what’s happening.
● Parents must channel teen energy into positive activities.
● It is wrong to expect a teenager not to want to have fun and expend energy.
● Teens often rebel and question institutions like school, church, and government.
● Parents should answer teen questions honestly and not force their opinions.
● Teens take chances and experiment with limits and boundaries.
● Adults must create an environment of accountability to minimize wrong choices.
● Teens have respect for truth and look for adults who live by enduring principles.
● Teens cry out for discipline, direction, and purpose.
● Teens respect adults with strong moral convictions who care enough to keep them from destroying themselves.
● Teens are great collaborators and are heavily influenced by peer pressure.
● Teens plan together to impress each other or beat the system.
● Parents must recognize and be aware of the collaboration that takes place among teens.
● Parents can help teens by communicating, preparing them for the future, and encouraging them.
● Parents should discipline, care for, and not provoke their teens.
● Parents must give their teens unconditional love.

Most parents have already experienced what you are going through and have gained wisdom from the ‘school of hard knocks.

Understanding Parents

● Understanding parents can be just as frustrating for teenagers as understanding teens is for parents.
● Recognizing each other’s strengths and weaknesses helps bridge the generation gap.
● Teens and pre-teens should read this chapter, ideally together with their parents.
● Parents are wise because they have accumulated wisdom over the years.
● Most parents have already experienced what their teens are going through.
● Parents remember their own youth and often know a teen’s story before it is finished.
● Because of past experiences, parents can see trouble coming long before it arrives.
● Many parents overreact because they don’t want their children to make the same mistakes.
● Parents are realists who think in practical terms about what will actually work.
● Parents went through their own idealism and became resigned to life’s realities.
● Working, paying bills, and caring for children temper idealism into realism.
● Parents are practical and calculate risks and rewards before making decisions.
● Teens often act first and worry about consequences later, while parents do the opposite.
● A parent’s first question is often, “How much is this going to cost?”
● Parents are usually settled and comfortable with what they have already achieved.
● Parents want a predictable life, a routine schedule, and as simple a life as possible.
● Parents are protective and want to keep their children from getting hurt.
● Protection can become negative when parents become overprotective.
● Mothers are especially protective because they endured great pain to deliver their children.
● Today’s parents are busier than any generation in history.
● Parents often have two jobs, work late, and spend more time at work than at home.
● Teens sometimes feel like an afterthought when parents are consumed with earning a living.
● Teens should understand their parents’ hectic pace and that they are providing a good life.
● Single parents especially struggle to find time to care for children the way they should.
● Teens should remember that parents are wise, settled, busy, practical, protective, and realistic.
● If teens honor their parents, God will honor them.
● Parents are not always right, but they are in charge.
● Teens should pray for their parents and earn responsibility.
● Parents love and care for their teens
​

How can it be possible for a child to be stable if he or she lives in an unstable environment?

A Changing World, a Changing Family

● The world has undergone drastic changes in all aspects of society, and many are not good.
● The family is in a state of decline and confusion, challenged from within and without.
● Divorce has wreaked havoc in the lives of many young children and affects their development.
● Many unparented or under-parented children have to find their way in life by themselves.
● A child cannot be stable in an unstable environment.
● Children who split time between two parents face different rules, environments, and discipline methods.
● Confused teens often get their “training” from rap artists and other entertainers.
● Negative music and media are influencing children today in their own homes and cars.
● Divorce rates are not decreasing, and moral standards are lacking.
● Children are being filled with neglect and exposure to negative media.
● Alternative “families” with two men or two women as parents leave young people confused.
● The Bible does not accept such arrangements as families.
● A man and woman who marry and have children become a father and a mother—this is God’s design.
● Any other arrangement is abnormal and differs from the original model.
● Having two “mothers” or two “fathers” is an unnatural environment for raising children.
● Traditional marriage is being challenged politically and socially as never before.
● Gangs have risen out of the ashes caused by the demise of the traditional family.
● Gang formation is a direct result of neglect and abuse.
● Many gang members were abandoned, abused, or had absent parents.
● The first recorded marriage in the Bible ends with God asking, “Adam, where are you?”
● God was asking the head of the house where he was and what happened to his family.
● Many fathers today are missing in action or absent without leave.
● In many societies, women are excelling while men are in bars, on corners, or in prison.
● At least 90 percent of inmates in Western penal institutions are male.
● There was a time when mommy was the role model for daughters and daddy for sons.
● Today, many fathers leave home or were never there to begin with.
● Many young men grow up hating their fathers and swearing not to be like them, only to repeat the same behaviors.
● In most homes in North America and the Caribbean, the only parent is a mother.
● Many mothers work two jobs just so they and their children can survive.
● Many athletes thank their moms on television, revealing what is happening in homes today.
● Some mothers place children in front of the television or turn them over to babysitters.
● When a father abandons his children, a mother’s new boyfriend may molest young daughters.
● Fathers and mothers living together as parents may represent only 30 to 40 percent of the population.
● Today’s child learns to deal with one-parent families, step-families, and absentee parents.
● Blended families create authority and discipline problems.
● Role reversals and role confusion are increasing in today’s family.
● God did not intend for women to fight for a living or for men to wear dresses.
● Two parents in their proper roles as male and female are the best environment for raising healthy children.
● The original concept of the family is dying a slow and painful death for many reasons.
​

The best parents are the ones whose children are well-prepared to live outside the confines of their home.

Relating to Teens

● Parents earn respect by providing for their children’s needs according to their ability.
● Children do not ask to be born, so parents have the responsibility to provide food, shelter, and clothing.
● Parents should not waste money by buying everything their children desire.
● Parents should not abuse their authority or provoke their children.
● Parents provoke children by being too restrictive, abusive, unfair, or living by double standards.
● Parents must ensure their lifestyle points teens toward the right path.
● Parents should care for their children as a treasure, not a burden.
● Caring means teaching right from wrong and answering children’s questions about life.
● Parents should talk with their teens about things teens want to discuss.
● Conversations should not only be about chores and tasks.
● Parents should ask about music, sports, school, friends, and plans.
● Parents are supposed to discipline their children because discipline is a painful part of love.
● Teens actually want to be disciplined and will respect parents who correct them.
● Discipline methods should change as children reach their teen years.
● Physical punishment is for younger children; teens need revoked privileges, added chores, and stricter curfews.
● Parents should clearly communicate ground rules, expectations, boundaries, and consequences.
● Parents must encourage their children and keep their promises.
● Parents should show up for plays, ball games, and reward good grades.
● Parents should not frustrate well-behaved children or treat them as if they are rotten.
● Parents should not deny children attendance at church or youth group as punishment.
● Parents need to listen and try to relate to their teens.
● “Children should be seen and not heard” is simply wrong.
● Parents must know what motivates their children, what music they listen to, and who their heroes are.
● Today’s musicians and entertainers tell teens to get high, kill, steal, rape, and rebel.
● Parents who know what music their children listen to have a better idea of where their heads are.
● Parents must listen and relate to their teens or lose touch with them.
● Parents must communicate with their teenagers through two-way communication.
● Parents should learn to say “We’re sorry” when wrong and forgive when necessary.
● Parents should keep problems at home or between themselves and a counselor.
● Parents must help the idealism of youth merge with realism.
● Parents must prepare teenagers for the future because children are born to leave home.
● The best parents are those whose children are well-prepared to live outside the home.
● Teens should progressively be given more responsibility as they grow.
● Parents should not smother young people or prepare them to stay home forever.
● Parents must commit their children to God after doing their best.
● Approximately 80 percent of teen learning comes from visual observation.
● Teens often don’t listen to what parents say, but they are watching parents’ lives.

No matter how difficult the situation is, ‘hold fast’ to the things you have learned in the Word and let God do the rest.

Relating to Parents

● This chapter is written specifically for teens to help them relate to their parents.
● God’s original plan was one man, one woman, and their children.
● The man was responsible for caring for his wife and children under God.
● The woman was responsible for being her husband’s partner and helper.
● Both parents were responsible for teaching their children and providing love, discipline, and respect.
● Teens need to obey their parents “in the Lord.”
● Parents outrank children and have a higher position in the family.
● Parents are not always right, but they are in charge.
● Teens have no right to rebel unless parents grossly violate God’s rules.
● Teens should share their point of view, but the final say belongs to parents.
● Teens must respect and honor their parents.
● Honoring parents is the first commandment with a promise of long life.
● If teens dishonor their parents, God will dishonor them.
● Teens should not be disrespectful or ashamed of their parents.
● Teens deserve responsibility when they act correctly with what they already have.
● Teens should keep their word so parents can trust them with more freedom.
● Teens should call parents if they will be late for a legitimate reason.
● The more teens cheat and lie, the less responsibility they deserve.
● Good parents discipline in love because they want their children to be responsible.
● Teens need to pray for their parents.
● Parents are not the enemies of teens.
● Teens should be helpful and cooperative even when parents are difficult.
● Teens should give parents a reason to appreciate and understand them better.
● Teens should report a parent who is grossly out of order through abuse.
● Teens are no longer obligated to obey parents “in the Lord” if they are being abused.
● Teens should consult a youth pastor, guidance counselor, or trusted adult before reporting.
● All authorities and powers are ultimately subject to God.
● Some teens have no parents and have to grow up on their own.
● Teens without parents should talk to a school counselor, youth pastor, or trusted adult.
● Some teens have to be their own parent or even a parent to their own parents.
● Through godly living and example, teens can teach their parents how to live responsibly.
● Teens should hold fast to what they have learned in the Word and let God do the rest.

What you don’t hear from your teens is a lot more important than what you do hear.

Practical Wisdom Tips for Parents

● Remove TVs from children’s bedrooms and place them only in public viewing areas.
● This deters teens from viewing offensive material, especially during late-night hours.
● Grades improve, and addiction risks diminish when teens cannot watch TV unsupervised.
● Take the same steps with computers and the internet as with TVs.
● Pornography is possibly the number one item on the internet, and pornographers target everyone.
● Keep computers only in public areas of the home so parents can monitor activity.
● Pedophiles recruit children through chat rooms by posing as children themselves.
● Suicide sites exploit vulnerable teens by encouraging them to commit suicide.
● Hate groups, terrorists, and social deviants use the internet for their purposes.
● Monitor your teen’s internet involvement at all times and use filtering software.
● Check the internet viewing history on your computer to make sure unhealthy sites are not visited.
● In blended families, the natural parent should speak to their child about discipline.
● Young people often use the retort that the stepparent is not their “real parent.”
● Both parents should agree, but the natural parent should address issues with the child.
● Family devotions are key for maintaining family unity.
● “The family that prays together stays together.”
● Children who see parents reverence God will likely carry that respect into adulthood.
● Regular family meetings allow parents and teens to make decisions together.
● Family meetings help parents find out what is going on in each other’s lives.
● Family meetings allow children and teens to have a say within the family process.
● Use family meetings to plan vacations, ask opinions, and give guidance on friends and activities.
● Annual family vacations provide bonding, fun, relaxation, and a break from everyday stress.
● Even God took a “vacation,” so families should too.
● Keep teens physically close by taking them along to the store, market, or work.
● Time spent with teens is an investment that pays off abundantly in the future.
● Parents and fun are not usually synonymous, but families need to play together.
● Swim, play ball, make jokes, or play games like Scrabble, dominoes, or cards.
● Asking questions is the only way to know what is happening in your teen’s life.
● Ask questions especially when you notice changes in behavior, attitude, or associations.
● Don’t wait until changes have permanent effects before asking questions.
● Separate the behavior from the person and never call a child “dumb” or “stupid.”
● Anyone’s behavior can be modified through discipline and incentives.
● Grounding and fines are effective options for older children.
● Creative discipline methods like “the squeeze” or a firm handshake can reinforce messages.
● Find creative means of discipline and be faithful in using what works for you.
● Listening is an art that most parents neglect in favor of talking.
● The older children get, the more parents must focus on two-way communication.
● What you don’t hear from your teens is often more important than what you do hear.
● If you dismiss your teen’s concerns, someone else will give them a voice.
● Be attentive to what your kids are listening to, watching, and doing on the internet.
● Attentiveness can help you stumble on life-and-death issues before it is too late.
● Many parents miss clues that could have prevented tragedies like Columbine.
● Always strive to be attentive to your children and teens.

Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come.

The Word on Parents and Teens

● The Bible provides valuable insights for successfully living regardless of your faith background.
● The Bible correctly describes how we should live to bring out our potential.
● The writings of Solomon in Proverbs and Ecclesiastes are especially valuable for parents and teens.
● These Scriptures are arranged topically as a reference for daily life.
● Parents should be examples and not live by double standards.
● Fathers should not exasperate their children but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
● Parents are supposed to provide for their children and grandchildren.
● Anyone who does not provide for their own family has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
● Children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.
● Children are a heritage from the Lord.
● Teens should remember their Creator in the days of their youth.
● Remembering God before days of trouble come brings meaning and direction.
● Teens should obey their parents in the Lord, for this is right.
● Honoring father and mother is the first commandment with a promise.
● The promise is that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.
● Teens should respect authority and submit to it because all authority is established by God.
● Rebelling against authority is rebelling against what God has instituted.
● Teens should pray for those in authority so they may live peaceful and quiet lives.
● Listening to your father’s instruction and not forsaking your mother’s teaching brings honor.
● Teens should avoid bad company and not give in when sinners entice them.
● Bad company leads to destruction and takes away the lives of those who pursue ill-gotten gain.
● Lack of judgment regarding sex leads to destruction and death.
● A young man who lacks judgment follows a seductive woman like an ox going to the slaughter.
● The way to keep your way pure is by living according to God’s Word.
● A poem about children crying out for parents to love them and give them a chance.
● Children are tomorrow and deserve a chance.

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Now that you have read this summary, take time to reflect on your parenting. Identify one area you need to improve. Start today. Train your children in the way they should go. Be intentional, be consistent, and trust God with the results.
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Finally, here is a question we’d love you to answer.

Are you parenting your children intentionally, or are you leaving their training to chance?

We would love to hear from you. Please leave your answer and comment in the comment box below.

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