Main Summary: Bible Sense For Getting Into Marriage By Bishop David Oyedepo is a short book that enumerates 8 steps, regarded by the author as “Bible Sense” for finding, proving, settling, and starting a happy home in marriage.
Lessons You’ll Learn From This Post
1. Finding the person to marry
2. Proposing to the woman
4. Meeting family
5. Protecting each other
6. Protesting errors
7. Preparing for the future
8. Tying the knot
According to the author, the best of anything is found at the root of facts. Success in marriage, according to him is fathered by facts, not luck.
Using the word of God he said, Wisdom is the builder of any house and it demands responsibility from you. He said that it is accepting these responsibilities whether as husband or wife that procures the attainment of marital success.
It is therefore a fact that men with successful homes must love their wives and women with successful homes must submit to their husbands.
1. Finding The Person To Marry
According to the author, the Bible recommends that “whosoever findeth” not “whosoever prayeth” or “whosoever fasteth.”
He said finding is a conscious act in which you must open your mind and your eyes to engage in locating who you can spend your life with.
He said finding is more practical than it is spiritual. You open your eyes to find a partner and after finding you must evaluate what you have found whether it is really what you want or not.
For the believer, he said that two basic criteria must be considered in finding the person to marry.
First of which is if he or she is a believer. He said that this criterion is not negotiable for a believer. You cannot go into a relationship with an unbeliever, it is the easiest way to backslide.
Secondly, do you agree? In the book he said you don’t need prayers to answer this question. Questions like; are you working towards a common goal? are your ideas and ideologies totally apart? do you agree in faith etc?
It is in this that your ability to analyze will be tested and must come to play. According to the author, after you have made this analysis and have found that your criteria are met, then your choice of marrying a partner can be made.
In his words, don’t be afraid to make your choice because God respects your choice. He added that marrying someone you don’t like makes you a fool.
Also Read God Is A Match Maker by Derek Prince [Summary]
2. Proposing to the woman
He also stressed in this point that after proposing to a lady you must let her make her choice. Marital agreement should be by choice not by any religious influence.
The choice of marriage should be by mutual agreement, not spiritual harassment. So when a lady says no, go look elsewhere.
You must not stampede her or blackmail anyone into marriage by telling them God said you are my wife.
The period of courtship happens after there is an agreement to marry. It is the stage of proving all things as found in 1thes 5:21.
According to the author no matter how convincing you are about who to marry; you must prove the relationship. Proving a relationship takes time. As marriage without courtship will lead to crisis.
Therefore proving what you have found to be right for you is a wise choice that everyone should make. He said impatience is mostly responsible for many marital failures.
Also, he added that courtship is a period of testing your compatibility. This is where you find out if your ideas and ideals are similar. If you are not compatible there is no need to go ahead into marriage. This again according to the author is not something spiritual.
According to the author, he did not marry the first person he was in courtship with. He said when he saw the way she was going, he knew they were not heading in the same direction, so he had to call it quits.
According to him, courtship gives you the ability or opportunity to change your mind. And because of this one month is not enough and two months is risky. He said you need enough time to logically and analytically access your choice.
He finally added on the aspect of courtship that, It is the responsibility of both parties preparing for marriage to engage in the proven process. It is not for a third party like family or friends to help prove your marital decision as they would not be the ones to live with the choice they make for you.
4 . Meeting family
On meeting family, the author says, after satisfactorily proving your relationship, it is then time to go ahead to inform members of your family.
He recommends that this stage or step should not come before proving your spouse. This is so that there will be no changing of mind after this stage you must be sure of your decision to marry your spouse before bringing third parties into it.
5 . Protecting each other
This stage according to the author is still within courtship. You must protect your relationship from defilement for the honor of marriage is in an undefiled bed.
It is not a period to prove if your spouse can get pregnant as this is anti-covenant.
6. Protesting Error
Protesting errors means pointing out unacceptable issues you may have discovered in one another before marriage.
According to the author, you have the right to protest in your relationship when certain unpleasant things develop or take place during courtship.
At this stage, both parties have the right to protest on issues they may have agreed upon that have been deviated from. It is also time to clear up differences so that they don’t become problems in your future.
7. Preparing for the future
In the author’s words, you can only succeed in what you are prepared for. You must be mentally, spiritually, and physically prepared for your home as a man.
You cannot be a squatter and want to be married. Your maturity will determine the level of peace and harmony in your home. He said you cannot be tied to the apron strings of your parents and claim to be matured.
He also added that, until you can stand your ground you are not a man yet. Being a man means you can take full responsibility for your choices.
8. Tying the knot
Lastly, according to the author, it is after you are fulfilled the aforementioned facts and points that you qualify to possess your husband or your wife in Holy matrimony—not before.
He added that succeeding in marriage requires that both parties leave their parents and cleave to each other. And that you haven’t left home when your decisions are based on your parent’s approval.
Also Read Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren [Summary]
In conclusion, we have been able to identify eight salient points that are valuable in finding a spouse, proving if they are right for you, and finally tying the knot. I hope this had been helpful, as I desire that you get it right.
Finally, here’s my question for you.
Are you single? If yes, what have you learned that you think is worth practicing from this Post? On the other hand, are you dating someone already? If yes, then are you sure using these points that you are in the right place?
I will love to hear from you, please leave your answer and comment in the comment box below.
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God bless you.
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