Main Summary: When Am I Ready by Kingsley Okonkwo focuses on the importance of being prepared for marriage and understanding the key factors that go into finding the right partner. The author emphasizes the importance of maturity, purpose, self-awareness, and a strong relationship with God in the search for a life partner.
What You’ll Learn From This Post
1. How You Must View & Prepare For Marriage
2. Some Tips to Learn Before Relating
3. The Place of Maturity
4. Wholeness & Purpose
5. God’s Place in Your Choice
6. The Necessity for Adequate Preparation
How You Must View & Prepare For Marriage
Your perspective is important in determining attitude and outcome in marriage. The author suggests that your perspective on marriage should be governed by the perspective of its originator, God. He states that according to the Bible, God created marriage and declared it to be very good and that when getting married, an uncommon level of favor follows.
The author also emphasizes that a perfect marriage is possible but it is important to have the right perspective and align it with God’s word.
He also states that if both parties have the right perspective and are committed to playing their respective roles, there will be no problem in marriage.
He also mentioned that perfect marriage doesn’t mean that both parties will not occasionally see things differently, but they will choose not to quarrel or trade punches over the issue.
He also gives an example of Kenneth E Hagin who was married for over 60 years, they were committed to loving each other forever and they made a vow to remain sweethearts till the very end.
So to prepare for a such long-lasting marriage, age alone should not be a determining factor for readiness. Other factors such as being a good spouse and parent, having a godly influence on children, and being whole and ready to become one with a partner are also important considerations.
The author also states that being ready for marriage involves finding the right person but also being the right person first. He also stressed that being ready includes the process of brokenness and humility.
Also Read Bible Sense For Getting Into Marriage By David Oyedepo [Summary]
Some Tips to Learn Before Relating
You must be informed before getting involved in a relationship or marriage. The author stresses that to have a successful marriage, you must acquire all the necessary information on how to build a successful relationship, and that lack of information will only lead to frustration.
The author also addresses the differences between men and women, stating that men usually just say what they mean, while women’s meaning must be understood from what they say.
He also states that women are emotional beings, while men are logical beings, and that women are motivated by what they hear, while men are moved by what they see.
The author also emphasizes the importance of physical appearance for both men and women in a relationship, stating that men are moved by what they see and women are motivated by what they hear.
He also stresses the importance of using positive words and avoiding negative language in a relationship, and the importance of knowing how to cook for a woman in a marriage.
The Place of Maturity
Maturity is not a function of age, but of wisdom, responsibility, and exposure. The author stressed that a great marriage is not between two perfect people, but between two mature people.
The author also lists four significant words that reveal maturity: “No”, “Balance”, “Control” and “Self-denial”.
The author states that learning to say “No” to premarital sex is proof that you are mature. He also highlights the importance of balance in your life, and the importance of self-control in a relationship or marriage.
He also stressed that you must learn to control emotions and hormones and that you must be able to delay gratification for long-term benefit.
The author also mentions two areas where maturity should be exhibited: physical maturity, which is at least 20 for women and 24 for men, and mental maturity, which involves being able to control emotions and hormones, being able to delay gratification for long-term benefit, and being able to make good decisions.
Wholeness & Purpose
The author emphasizes the importance of being single and complete, unique, separate, and whole before entering into a relationship or marriage.
The author advises not to lose your identity or uniqueness and to build yourself up to the point where no one can make you feel inferior.
The author also advises avoiding getting into a relationship with someone who is not whole and I know you were to work on healing and becoming whole yourself, which falls in line with finding yourself.
Who are you? or what is your purpose? Your purpose, or where you are headed in life, should align with your partner’s. It is important to know your purpose before choosing a partner to ensure you are heading in the same direction.
The author also stressed the importance of avoiding division in a relationship and advises that you should have a purpose for living other than just getting married. He quotes Martin Luther King Jr as saying “If you don’t have a purpose for living, you are not fit to live.”
God’s Place in Your Choice
The author on this subject stressed the importance of God in marriage. He emphasized the importance of choosing a partner who is committed to God and has a strong spiritual foundation.
He advises taking the time to study potential partners and look for spiritual qualities and a willingness to obey God.
He also advises against marrying someone who loves you more than he or she loves God, as he or she may be tempted to sin against you if they do not have a strong fear of God.
Also Read God Is A Match Maker by Derek Prince [Summary]
The Necessity for Adequate Preparation
The author emphasizes the importance of proper preparation for a successful marriage. He argued that you should not just assume you will know what to do when it comes to marriage and courtship. And that opportunities for a good marriage favor those who are prepared.
The author also suggests that you should find out what your desired partner desires in a spouse, and improve yourself to measure up to those standards.
He also advises that as a believer you should make sure that your desires are not unscriptural or unrealistic. Having made sure of that, you must then hold on to them and trust that God will grant you the desires of your heart.
In conclusion, the book discusses the importance of being mature, knowing one’s purpose, being single, and involving God in the process of choosing a life partner.
The author emphasizes the need for proper preparation before entering into courtship or marriage and encourages you to improve yourself continually to attract the right kind of partner.
He also stresses the importance of being unique, separate, and whole as a single person and the need for compatibility in terms of purpose and commitment to God when choosing a partner.
Overall, the book provides valuable advice and guidance for individuals who are considering entering into a serious relationship or marriage.
Finally, We have a question for you.
What steps can you take to ensure that your partner’s purpose aligns with yours before proposing marriage?
We will love to hear from you, please leave your answer and comments in the comment box below.
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